TWILIGHT AT 1200

 You wouldn’t think the ending of a day could present such peace and beauty.

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I paused a few evenings ago at twilight,  just standing on my deck,  noticing that the darkening sky created a beautiful shade of blue.   Really, really beautiful – so I ran in and got my camera so I could remember it.

I looked downwards.   The deep blue was reflected in the pond too.

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I was thinking about twilight for that day that was ending. . . and endings of everything.

Usually sometime in September I write about how many NEW  things there are:   new season of Fall coming;    new school year;   my birthday gives me a whole new year of life to anticipate;    and I’m usually congratulating my Jewish friends at Rosh Hoshanna, the Jewish New Year.   Beginnings, not endings.

I even took a picture of my deck flowers that evening, trying to stay cheerful and upbeat,  trying to think of “new things” and not “endings and twilights.”

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I’m pretty sure I once wrote a big blog posting on all that, but I’ve gone back in the archives for every single September and couldn’t find the one I was looking for.  In fact I didn’t find “new  beginnings at all, but it turns out I unexpectedly  bumped into a lot of life’s twilights.

In glancing over all those September posts,  I found all the “endings”  of my past five years, endings that I didn’t know were so near.   Twilights in my life.

One September I didn’t know that it was Suzy’s last few months of life.  Suzy…my little “companion” who parked herself inside my mind and “bossed” me around, her little mind accompanying me wherever I went, whatever I did.  I am still as lost without her as though I had lost an identical twin.  And I can’t bring myself to post another picture of her.

The next September I didn’t know it was the twilight of my life with Hubbie.  I didn’t know it was his last few months to live.    The ending of so many years together.

By the next September it had been my own father’s last time on earth.

This September I find myself experiencing a kind of “twilight” in my health…It’s the “end” of taking my health for granted, but I’m fighting, and I think I’ll live to fight another twilight later on.

All these endings.

All these twilights.

You’ll have them too.

My blog tells me that this is my 1200th posting here at the Spruce Tunnel today.  I’m not going to say something “philosophical”  like:  “For every ending there is a new beginning.”   Or:  “There has to be an ending to make room for a new beginning.”   Or maybe:   “You can’t make an omelette without bringing some eggs to an end”  !!!

But I know for sure,  you can’t stand outside during a beautiful twilight and not stop and think for a moment about the ending of the day, and then try to find all the beautiful things that were in that day . . .  all the hopes and possibilities that day had . . .  knowing that you did the best you could with that precious gift of time. . . .

Here’s some philosophy:   “Don’t worry about tomorrow;  God is already there.”    You are noticed.   You are loved.

What follows a twilight might be even more peace and beauty.

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