LIGHT IN THE GLOOM

The evening deepens.  My back yard grows dark.  A last beam of sunlight lights up the trees.

 Sorry to be away so long.   I’m not normally withdrawn.  I’ve been “dammed up” for a while.  Oh, I met my social and “business” obligations and seemed normal  (I think)  but in between I couldn’t reach out on my own initiative.   Maybe health issues.    My health went from bad to not-worse. . . getting better, probably.    That takes a little adjustment.

Everyone needs a little inwardness once in a while.

Each time I felt “communicative” again,  I never got further than sitting down at the keyboard.    And then I walked away.   I’d sit at the piano, and then walk away with touching a key.     Who knows why?

But like my back yard in the evening —

        —     this time of the year the sun  finds a space between the houses to shine its sunbeam before all goes dark.

And each time this ever-darkening Scandinavian psyche of mine withdrew into comfortable gloom,  some bright sunshine nudged me awake.

Here’s where you all come in.     What were these little nudging sunbeams of mine?

. . . .an awfully nice friend who met with me for “coffee” and some good meandering conversation.

. . . .some awfully nice companionship and conversation with Son, one evening out on our deck

. . . .an awfully nice friend who shares her music skills with me with music we both love, followed by a beautiful tea in her English garden

. . . .an awfully nice friend who called just to ask something, to discuss a problem, and to have a conversation

. . . .an awfully nice Cousin in the Far Far North, that keeps our remaining family together with oh, so interesting information

. . . .awfully nice classes who, though they may look at me askance sometimes they keep their questions to themselves, while carrying on normal conversation

. . . .an awfully nice friend who will be visiting soon after his cross-country driving trip to visit family and friends here;  looking forward to his (our) high-speed conversation

. . . .an awfully nice sister who also carries on rapid-fire conversations with me,  informative and interesting and lots of laughter

You get the idea.  You could be any one of those people to someone else who is on some sort of unexpected, unexplainable retreat.   Just be your normal good self.

I don’t know what was happening or when it would stop.  Perhaps I was on some sort of Healthy Retreat,  but I came out of it “with a little help from my friends.”   Literally.

Now it’s my turn.  My turn to be a friend.   To carry on a steady and normal friendship with the people I know.    Because being a friend is good medicine too.

Now that the dam has broken open and my need for solitude seems to be at an end,   I have a lot of pent-up observations to make here in The Spruce Tunnel.    Look out!

 I think I can find some sunlight on a few branches.

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2 Comments on “LIGHT IN THE GLOOM”


  1. I wish you could be on Facebook… I had resisted it for such a long time. It is marvelous for sharing pictures,etc. I’ve been dangerously near depression sometimes, too. Lord knows I deserve it! I just try to look for the bright side.


  2. Is that what this is? Depression? Nah, that doesn’t quite sound right. I think it’s health issues that are bogging me down and making me withdraw a little. My moods match what my body is feeling. But I know how to do a Deep Blue Funk sometimes too! I need to Skype soon with you. Uh – just for fun.


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