“AT WAR. . .”


 I’m not the old lady.  It’s  this one:


She is a local nonagenarian who works in a McDonald’s, one little town east of me.   She is a favorite  among the customers, and she loves her work and does it well.  Never misses a day.    A story like that is always good for some “secrets” of living to a good, healthy old age.

It’s not “a cigar a day.”  Or ” a beer a day.”     Or any other unbelievably silly thing.   It’s    . . .  her cheerfulness and optimism.   According to the caption,  she looks in the mirror first thing in the morning and smiles.  She says if you do that, you’ll have  a smile on your face all day.


Smiles are wearing down around here.      Seems like one long,  dark,  dreary day.

dreary fall day

Seems like there’s been a steady dark November rain for a few days.  A few hours of sunshine once in a while, but altogether pretty dark.    Dreary rain during our football game;  rain and snow, actually.     And my leaves are soaking wet.  On the ground.

View from my study:

Dark Day

That photo was taken at 4:15 this afternoon.   The camera picked up a lot more outdoor light than there actually was.  It was all gray out there.

And this morning I woke up to more computer gloom.    It  looks like Mozilla has been trying to update itself for a few days.    It had become so good for a while,   but now this morning, as I turned on the PC,  there was a brand-new Firefox,  new color scheme,  black on black, it seems.   Commands are different.   Settings are different.  And I spent a long time trying to recapture some of my old settings and backgrounds.

And now it appears to be less stable, at least for the way I use a browser.  What more computer trouble is coming down the road?

I took down the happy lady’s photo from my refrigerator today.  

I just want to . . .  think.

Doghouse dreary

About:    some deeply serious, dire  posts I’ve been writing – but not posting.   I know these things,  but no one I know knows these things; and that means, if this is the norm,  “these things”  will increase.    About :   some information about a family member that I received  today.     About:  why is my health not improving as fast as I want it to?   About:    This is the anniversary week of Hubbie’s passing.

Yep,  that’s probably it.   Seven years ago . . . .

But this “anniversary week”  is Thanksgiving week too.    That 92-year-old lady exemplifies good cheer and optimism, and it’s hard not to listen to her.

But if I even start to count my blessings, I will lose touch with why I’m in such a  funk.  Do I want to?     If I become truly thankful for what I have,   I will rise out of this gloom.    Do I want to?      If I think instead:

About my home and my family and my Church and my friends  . . .

About bringing chicken soup to a sick neighbor this weekend – and he liked it!

About having the resources to help out a young friend,  right where she needed it.

About a fun trip to a Christmas Craft Show this weekend.

About receiving some clothes in the mail these days, including a pretty blue parka with a fur-lined hood, like I’ve always wanted.

About receiving some new books in the mail too!

And we won our football game!

There’s so much more.    Too much.  Too much.   I can’t stay in only  a  gloomy mood.  I can feel it all.    What a tiring way to be;  but I can feel it all at the same time;  alive.  Acutely alive.

I need not fight the old lady.

I guess.





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