Archive for the ‘Humor’ category

YOU CAN’T GET THERE FROM HERE

June 7, 2018

          “Here” is where you are right now

           It’s your present Location.

           “There” is where you want to go

           It’s your desired destination.

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My Dad used to say that the streets of  his little city here on the Space Coast of Florida were poorly designed for so many people:  “They let in too many people in too short a time and they didn’t pay attention to the streets.   Some people got very rich with all this growth and look at the mess we got.”

 

“You can’t get There. . .”

Making a mundane shopping trip can seem like a complicated itinerary to some exotic destination.     There are two obstacles to straightforward travel around this little city:

traffic planning algorithmtraffic planning algorithm

 

One obstacle is the traffic  lanes around here.   Invariably,  going “There”   involves two or more left-hand turns in which you must maneuver within two or three permissible left-turn lanes and an array of multicolored traffic lights.

Well,  red, green, and yellow circles and arrows.   With four-minute cycles, I think.

There is a left left-turn lane;  a right left-turn lane,  and sometimes a center left-turn lane.  That means you have to know where you’ll need to be up ahead a half a block further on.    The lane you’re supposed to stay in is marked with white dotted lines –  when the dots aren’t too faded.

Everyone has his own idea of how wide an arc he must make as he turns –  and sometimes that leads to, not bumper-to-bumper,  but door-handle-to-door handle driving.

There are very narrow lanes for bicycles and motorcycles too — and not always at the edge of the street, but in between the left-turning lanes.     They have left and right left-turn lanes too.

So,  you’ve made your last left-hand turn.  You’d think your destination is actually “on the left.”    But, no . . .

Remember, “you can’t get There from Here” — at least not easily.

Usually, you have been forced to drive past your destination.   That’s the second obstacle.

The median between the two directions of traffic is rather wide and made of solid concrete, punctuated with little openings through which to make the necessary U-Turn, often ducking into another left-turn lane.

Once I found myself driving in a  lane marked  “U-Turn Lane”  for about a half a block.  I thought I was doing something wrong until I realized I’m the one who needs to make a U-Turn here eventually.

After a while I was able to make that left-hand turn,  but I think I would have gotten to that store faster on foot.

I took my sister to her doctor appointment yesterday.

She soothed my frustrations with our Dad’s words:  “. . .  Poorly designed roads . . .  they let too many people in . . .  Someone made a lot of money with all this growth!”

blue car

Which does not make driving around here any easier.

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Beware NASCAR  fans.  Daytona is like that too.

 

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TROPICAL STORM ALBERTO AND OTHER WET THINGS

June 2, 2018

I mentioned in the last post that Aberto was heading our way.     Tropical storm in the Far North!

We saw it coming down our street:

1 Albertoapproaches 311

First the dark clouds above the street;  then the clouds were across the street:

2 A,berto clouds across st 370

With the clouds came strong winds and big gusts of strong winds;   the air was saturated with moisture, a strange “foreign” kind of humidity.   The trees blew noisily, small things flew through the air.

And then the sheets of, rain!   We ran for cover.

3 Not fog, rain 380

That’s rain in our yard,  not, fog!     We have big thunderstorms sometimes,  but this was different, somehow.   A “tropical”  flavor to this storm,   Rather fun.

The  storm passed, but left debris behind.  Those oak flowers we have to deal with:

6 little ones

Masses of these little stringy things come down this time of year,  and they must be swept up, forming many fluffy piles –

7 Big Pile

Ever sweep a 70-foot two-lane driveway?

They come from here:

8 Oak from above

Of course.   Oak trees right above the driveway.

But after our storm they can down wet and sticky.   Unfortunately we had left three cars out in the driveway and they plastered our cars with their “flowers.”  —

4 Plastered

And to my alarm,  after I washed them off,  they had left stains on the finish of my car:

5 stains

Little indentations like the stains were eating into the finish.    When I bought the car, however,  I had a layer of Teflon put over the paint job.

Tip for you:   Always get that Teflon coating!    (I’ve traveled a lot of strange places and I’ve parked under a lot of strange things, including birds.   the Teflon has definitely saved my paint job.)

Son’s car was one of the victims of these wet, sticky oak flowers.

GTO right front first 380

When something like this is parked in your driveway,  it’s a pleasure to wash it!

GTO right side 380

I’m not sure if I was admiring my wash job or admiring  the car!

GTO left rear 370

That’s a (fairly)  new GTO.

Next to bright red cars, I like a gleaming black one.  So how did I end up with a powder blue shiny one?     I just thought it was very pretty.

Son and I did a lot of yard work this hot, humid week, and a lot more today.  We decided about 8:30 that it was time to eat . . .

9 Gas Leak

. . . and that was the sign on the door of the restaurant we had chosen.   Someone’s party had to be moved because of a GAS LEAK in the restaurant!

Well, we found another, all was well:    scallops drizzled with some smoky bourbon sauce  and   crab stuffed salmon.

It’s Friday, after all!

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A QUIRKY ANTIDOTE

May 16, 2018

Well, in the last post I kind of put the burden on each of us  to improve ourselves and so put goodness back into our society –  a job well-possible-   but it need not be a “burden.”

Making ourselves better  can be a lot of fun.   Just relax;   you pretty much know right from wrong.   You pretty much know we are to respect and love others as we want to be respected and highly regarded ourselves.

Relax, and have fun.  Or develop a good sense of humor.    I always say my favorite forms of humor  are irony and hyperbole.   Then – relax! – add a good sense of self-deprecating humor;  as in:  finding the ridiculous in yourself.     Enjoy your little quirks.

Quirkiness  hit me this week.   For almost a month I’ve had the strongest craving for  baba ganouj   –  that  tangy Mediterranean eggplant dish that you don’t eat with a spoon, you eat it with triangular wedges of something in the bread family.

baba ganouj

Being raised in a Scandinavian family,  the strongest spices I enjoy are cardamom and cinnamon!    Baba ganouj is definitely . . .  strong.  Tangy strong.   I have no idea why I began craving it,  but I braved some heavy-duty construction in the main intersection of our little town,  worked my way through the orange cone mazes and black-and yellow striped obstacles — in heavy traffic one day — to find that Mediterranean restaurant behind the construction trucks,  where I knew I could order some take-out baba ganouj – no matter how long I had to wait for it!

It was a good day.   It was ready for me almost instantly,  and I had already learned the “secret” unmarked passageway back through the construction,  and since I live here,  I even avoided some rush hour traffic red lights.

But . . .  why baba ganouj?      (It was delicious!)

Quirkiness #2,  now that I think about it:

BEE

Came   home one evening and saw this dead bumblebee on my driveway.   It was kind of sad, because this might be the one that claims much of my front yard and hangs around us in a friendly manner when we’re outside.   Sometimes, if we get too close too “something,”  he actually bumps us,  bumps into us, to push us away, as though his tiny little body could move a human being.

But it works.    And Son was just describing how intelligent bees are, in particular their memory.    So it was sad to see it lying there, dead.

The next day,  its little body was still there.  No bees came around to mourn, of course.   Maybe it was kind of childish,   but it seemed respectful to the bee,  to all of Creation, to God who made the bee,  that I bury its little body in a protected place in my garden.

I don’t know.    Dumb?   Childish of me?

Bee shovel

At least I used a Mickey Mouse shovel.

Improve society?    Respect all life.  Bury a friendly  little bumblebee  — and then smile at the quirky absurdity of it all.

 

Quirkiness #3 —  

I hope you all gave your mother as wonderful of a Mother’s Day as I had.   Thank you Daughter and Cooper who wished me a very long-distance:  Happy Grandma’s Day!!!!!  And thanks especially to Son who pulled the whole day together,  including a mad dash out for MEATS of all kinds –  anything we wanted! –  and then another mad dash out while the meat was grilling to get the ketchup we had forgotten…..

Here’s  just  the dessert part of our meal,  because  grilled meats on a plate don’t always look so appetizing in a photo.

MD Dessert

Tarts:  Key lime;  creme brulee,  cheesecake,   chocolate hazelnut, and chocolate caramel.  (Just want to post it here so I remember this in the future.)

On my table was a beautiful selection of hyacinths – perfect for the improvements I’ve been making in the garden.   I really care about flowers,  but I’m slow at getting the skills to take care of them.

MD hyac

They look like they need to be put into the earth now;  some of the bulbs are showing.    (Is this natural?  Or are they tipping over?)

I couldn’t help thinking that I got these beautiful flowers,  and now I’ll have to bury them.

MD hyac bulbs underground

I’ve got instructions.    But it sure feels like I”m burying my Mother’s Day flowers!

Just a goofy,  quirky feeling I have.

5 ha ha colors 70

 

When you give yourself cause to smile, or  laugh,     you’re all right!

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IT’S GETTIN’ UGLY OUT THERE

April 5, 2018

I’ve got to put this under humor.  Sort of.     I think this is a Ramble that didn’t quite make it to a Rant.    But enjoy the visuals.

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It was 7:03 p.m. tonight, and I thought,  Good, we can start our class just about on time.

Bad arch 1

People like to come early and talk – lots of things for  friends to talk about.    Even though I know this is good for them for so many reasons,  I have to stop the discussion and get the class started and I usually don’t manage to do that until quite a bit later than I’d like.

However, at 7:03:05  someone made a remark,  which was commented on, which elicited more comments and more . . .  it was a good heartfelt mini-discussion, and I got in on it too.

Bad arch 2

We were actually marveling that so many things were going so wrong in our culture.  (“How did we as  a society let that happen?”)   We are not taking care of our most needy, our most vulnerable.

bad arch 3

Insane

Mental health facilities have closed  “by government decree”  without any provisions for taking care of these people who are not capable of taking care of themselves.

bad arch 4

Needy people of every “stripe” and  every “color,”  as the saying goes,  are being left to fend for themselves.   On the streets.   Or destroying families because family members really don’t have the ability to take care of such severe mental health needs.

bad arch 5

Unspoken, but maybe on many minds, was the fact that  so many laws are passed that  turn out to be not good for people or for our society.  New laws often don’t help us until it’s too late.     Our lawmaker politicians are listening to someone else,  not to their constituents in many cases.

How did we let that happen?      How did we come to this?

bad arch 6

 

In addition,  ,  our Church mirrors the world’s culture now, it does things in the same ways,  it seems to have the same goals,   and most disheartening,  Church leaders cannot really be trusted.    How did it happen that Church hierarchy is reported to be so far from simple truths and  commonsense, faithful people?

bad arch 7

A word that came to my mind as I finally     p  u  l  l  e  d    the class back into the lessons we were supposed to be discussing;    that word was “ugly.”      Our society is not only unworkable and uncomfortable (and unsafe),  it’s just plain ugly.

As you can see, I’ve been browsing the pages of Architectural Digest again,  where beauty,  order,  grace, and common sense  is no longer presented.      I remember hearing a lecture about how the Bauhaus school of architecture was thought to be such a good (political)  idea,   “egalitarian” and all,   but all it gave us were homes and businesses, devoid of ornamentation looking like prison buildings,  with a sameness that kills the human spirit.

apt

Bauhaus style apartment buildings

No wonder such dreary inhuman architecture  was used to name a graceless, ugly group of human music noise that erupted in pointless protest.

bau music

Bauhaus paved the way  for more insane architectural  innovations,   one of them close to home where I grew up:

frank

We used to drive around Chicago area suburbs looking for these “homes.”    I think FLW built them with a little bit of grace,  but there is something . . .  lacking.

frank another

Still doesn’t look like a “home.”

What all these innovative designs have in common is that they are leaving traditional ideas of beauty and order that have developed naturally and organically through the centuries – because traditional ideas have served people well on many levels.      There is actually wisdom to be found in tradition.

There is nothing but Revolution to be found in . . .  revolutionary ideas, and Revolution cuts us off from the sanity and hard-earned lessons of those who lived before us.

The best comment on this Brave New World I have ever heard came in  one word:

bad braod 3 teeth

This building sits amidst the beautiful classic architecture of our local Big Ten campus.  It’s startling.  It doesn’t fit.   It’s a traffic hazard  for cars going by.   It’s rather ugly. It looks like a giant metallic shark ready to devour.

That one word   fits this exhibit the most because it is an understatement   capable of many meanings.  It was uttered by my little grandson when he was four years old, sitting in the back seat of our car,  chattering away non-stop —  until there was a sudden  silence.

Before we could ask what’s the matter , we heard his little voice say:  “Well,  that was interesting.”

Interesting.  Isn’t there a Chinese curse that says:  “May you live in interesting times”?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(recipe) ABOUT THAT LAMB

April 3, 2018

 

(Do not hesitate to try something new!)

We were coming  out of   church  after Easter Sunday Mass, greeting each other, hugging, talking about Easter dinner coming up . . .  and so I asked a few friends  “Any advice for roasting a big leg of lamb?”    

I had bought a pretty big one!    I’m not sure my friends believed me when I indicated how big,  but it didn’t matter –  no one had ever done a leg of lamb before anyway.   (I did get lots of advice about buying a smaller one next time.)

dinner

But I had a leg of lamb at home that cost about as much as a whole month’s worth of meat;  and I had Son waiting to share an Easter dinner.    (Just kidding about the big dinner in that photo.)

So . . .  here it is:

Lamb 3

That’s my biggest dinner plate next to the leg from a lamb giant.

The directions were to “rub all over” with a mixture of herbs.  I used lemon pepper,  garlic,  rosemary,  thyme, and Herbes de Provence, which I suppose is a bit redundant,  but I like the fragrance of it.   And some Himalayan salt.

Lamb 4 in oven

My turkey roasting pan was scarcely big enough.  I stood it on edge so it might roast more evenly.  It looked a little like a giant salmon.

Lamb 5 eating

Roast at 400+  for about 30 minutes,  then turn the heat down to about 330 – 350  degrees,  and then roast for another couple of hours.    You don’t have to be too specific, especially if you use a meat thermometer to check for the 130 degrees interior temperature which will give you medium rare — pink roast lamb meat.

(My thermometer never got past 110, so Son and I decided it was broken.   Took the lamb out of the oven in the nick of time —  it was almost still medium rare.   Don’t ever overcook lamb!    It’s edible,  but just not at the peak of its flavor.)

I used another large roasting pan for its platter.

From not knowing how to roast this leg and not knowing what exactly I was doing as it was roasting,   it turned out all right.      It turned out really, really good!    Mashed  potatoes,  lamb gravy,   sweet potatoes,  corn,   fresh tomato slices . . .  I forgot what else;   tiramisu layered cake for dessert. . .   Coffee.     And a ginger ale float!

And the next day —

Lamb 6 leftovers

LEFTOVERS!

What was left of it made a kind of oversized   meat treat, with a convenient bone handle.  (No vegetables need apply.)

I will certainly NOT wait until next Easter for another leg of lamb!

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VISIT FROM THE HEAVENLY PALACE

March 26, 2018

“What goes up must come down.”

See that thin red line?

Tiangong-1_over-Michigan-today

I live right under that thin red line.

It’s also the projected path of the wreckage of the  Heavenly Palace  space station that will come raining down on us on  – April Fool’s Day!    But it’s not an April Fool’s joke.  April 1st is the midpoint of the landfall of this wreckage.

“Heavenly Palace” is Tiangong in Chinese.

Michigan probablility

Another view of the range of  possible crash sites, with the two yellow strips having the highest probability of receiving the “honors.”     Again,  I live under the northern yellow strip.

They say  that the probabilities of being hit are about the same as winning the big lottery.    They always say that.   Somebody always eventually wins those big lotteries too.

I’m not going to get hit.   But I will be looking up!

 

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I’m putting this under the Category:  Humor.      I think.

CRAzY MODERN “#&@%#*” !!!

March 11, 2018

A little “sabbath day”  recreational Humor Break —  Just to keep a record in  The Spruce Tunnel of crazy encounters with the modern world

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I have three favorite kinds of humor:  hyperbole,  absurdity, and irony.   When you get all three together, it’s just . . .  silly.

Red suv

A few days ago we had a sunny day, with a strong  bitter cold freezing cold wind.    And my car was stalled in a parking lot.  No electricals.  I had opened the car door with “electricals” –  the locks.    But that was the end —  a sudden unexpected end.

red goes crazy   S’okay.    I had remembered to bring my phone with me.    Now’s when you need a cell phone.    So I dialed the familiar number of my car dealership who had just serviced my cars a couple weeks ago.    Here’s my exchange with Chuckie the Evil Phone System:

 

Dialed number . . .

“There is an equipment failure.”

Yes, I know!   I’m sitting in a big piece of “equipment failure.”    Whose “equipment” are you referring to?       Dialed number  again . . .

“Equipment failure.  Please dial again.”

I refuse to believe the entire American cell phone system is having an equipment meltdown.     Dialed number  again . . .  

“This call cannot be completed as dialed.”

Why?  Did I make a mistake?      Dial . . .

“This number is out of service.”

No!  It isn’t!  I  just used this number a few weeks ago when they serviced my cars!  Dial . . .

“This is AT&T.  Would you like an operator to help you find an alternative business?”

No!   I want my nice familiar car dealership where they all know my cars and I trust them with Hubbie’s aging vehicle!    And besides,  AT&T  is not even my carrier!

Just in case I was wrong about that number (I’m not),  I thought I’d look up their number on the Internet –  thank you for mobile  Internet access.   Tapped in the business name, city, and state.

“Will you allow this site to have access to your Contacts?”

No!

Tapped in business name, city, and state Chose another site with my car dealer’s name.

“Will you allow this site to have access to your contacts?”

No!    Who are you?   You can’t know my personal business!     Tapped in business name, city, and state.  Chose another site with my car dealer’s name.

“Will you allow this site to have access to your contacts?”

No!     I’m really getting cold in this car – with no electricity and no heater!   Tapped in business name, city, and state.  Chose another site with my car dealer’s name.

This time I got  a number two cities to the west of me.   Chose that one.  Maybe they could transfer me.      But this time it was the local dealership I wanted.   So that problem eventually got taken care of.

Not the way tow trucks do business

My dealership does not offer towing service,  so they kindly gave me the number of the one nearby.   I could have walked to it!       The phone was back in working order now,  but the towing company said, yes, they could help me,  and it would take about an hour to get to me.

I’m sure they heard my frustration:  “An hour?!    I’m just around the corner from you!  I can walk over to you!”      Fortunately, Son’s number was on my phone’s Okay List, and he actually came before the tow truck did.  He jiggled something and I was able to drive myself to the dealership –  where, for anyone’s decent credit limit,  they will fix my car.  (That’s hyperbole.)

Google Lost

Last night I had to meet a friend and Son for a little concert –  a Barbershop Quarter concert featuring Cowboy music.       Made for people like me!

Cowboy quartet jittered

But I had never been to that particular high school auditorium.  Everybody Googles  driving directions.   I do,  but only when I’m in heavy traffic in unfamiliar territory and I suddenly realize I need it — which means. although I manage to stay in my lane,  I never really learned to Google well.

So I say (politely and clearly):  “Okay, Google,  Driving Directions.”

red d d half

No response.   But the screen changed slightly, so I gave it my desired address.   “820 Spring Street,  ***(town),   (****state). “

“I can’t help you.”

No “sorry.”    No “I didn’t get that,  please say your destination again.”    Just:  “I can’t help you.”

This time I try:  “Eight Twenty  Spring Street,  ***(town),   (****state). ”

“I can’t find 820 Spring Street,”  which is odd because it’s the address of a rather large high school!

I did “something” to the phone with my finger – but as I did so I noticed the map with my “desired address”  at the top.   It also showed a street map,  it said 5.5 miles to my destination,  and a route marked out with a GREEN line, not blue like in that picture,   and my location marked with a little GREEN circle.

In the fading daylight, in unfamiliar traffic,  I was supposed to keep track of a green circle moving along a green line.   Google had stopped talking to me after its initial verbal refusal, so no one was telling me when and where to turn.

The end.

I got to the concert.  It was really fun for all of us.  I’m home.    My insomnia kicked in last night so I’m going on one and a half hours of sleep today . . .  still going . . .  I expect some human “equipment failure of a personal kind,   anytime in the near future.

I can handle that.

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MATHEMATICS ATTACKS US

February 24, 2018

(Say that title ten times quickly!   Hah!)

Everything I said in the last post is true, but I suppose we can find some humor amongst it all.   You may have seen this:

 

square root

High school students.    Learning math.      One of them  remarked that this square root symbol looked like a gun.    They were goofing off, but someone overheard the students (who were visibly armed with paper and pencils).

It was reported to the local sheriff, who questioned the accused  student, and who then made a house call that evening to the student’s home and searched for “weapons of ter r or ism.”    (They found no guns and determined the student had no access to guns.)

True story, but sadly funny.

What else is funny is that one of the newspapers which  reported the story  thought it necessary to explain to its readers what “square root”  means.

http://   http://www.  sacbee.com/news/nation-world/  national/article201604224 .html  )

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AN UPLIFTING WAY TO PRAY!

February 5, 2018

“Walking with Christ through Lent”  —

Among some of  the best ways of praying is to pray through the Gospels.   Not read them every day, but  to prayerfully meditate on  them every day,  staying close to the Lord we wish to follow.      A joyful and uplifting way to pray!

Uplifting.   (ahem):

01

Pretty, floaty balloons.

Lots of hands involved:

02

Children love to participate.

03

 

“Many hands make light work.”

04

It’s an “uplifting” project that needs to be kept untangled – and free:

05

 

The tendency is to float – upward, of course:

06

 

And all the people let go!

07

 

Up, up, and away!

09

 

Into the Heavens:

08

Where our prayers are heard!

Credit to the Papa Stronsay blog site ( http: / / papastronsay . blogspot. com/  —  Remove spaces, of course.)     Papa Stronsay is the name of the larger of the Stronsay islands, north of Scotland, where a joyful community of Christians live and work and pray.

 

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About the “repetition of prayers”  in the Rosary:

When I was a child,  the Bible that was given to me lied to me.   It kind of made it sound like you were never to say a prayer “more than once.”    Prayer should  “come from the heart” – i.e.,  it should always be extemporaneous.

(Saying “The Lord’s Prayer'”  again and again was a contradiction that I couldn’t ask about – and expect a satisfying answer.)

If you did repeat a prayer, or prayers,  it was called “vain repetition.”    My contradiction problem was relieved when I learned when I was older that the words “vain repetition” was a deliberate and deceptive mis-translation of the original Greek words regarding the manner of prayer.   In other words,  the men who wrote that particular Bible lied – with what they thought was good reason.

They were breaking away from the Church,  starting their own version of Christianity,  so they had to reject as much as they could that came from the Church.   And they had to write all kinds of reasons why they were right, including changing the words of the Bible.

JUST ONE COMMENT

February 2, 2018

 

Just one comment on this Friday evening after the release of the Summary (Memo) of the Congressional report:

 

Confession Today

 

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Hat Tip to Cousin in the Far Far North –  and her Facebook communications.

STUDENT TIME TRAVELERS

January 29, 2018

 

I thought this was going to be a humorous post,  but by the end, all I could manage is a kind of sardonic humor.   Not my favorite kind.

5 ha ha colors 70

You’ve probably heard this or seen this today —  although just a few hours later the article and accompanying video is becoming hard to find — but it’s always worth a second laugh.  Then again,  there’s an underlying serious issue.    The video exposes the thorough indoctrination of our young people,  our “next”  generation, to the point where in their minds  opinions are mixed together with fact so that there’s no distinction between their thinking and the real world.

Got that?   Many college students cannot distinguish between what has happened and what they believe has happened.

New York University students.

NYU

In general,  they’ve been  trained to hate President Trump.  Plenty of video and audio evidence for that   (and of course I don’t mean “mathematically 100% every single” college attendee).

So in a set-up kind of interview, a young man from Campus Reform went out to the campus to ask students what they thought of President Trump’s State of the Union speech.

You haven’t heard it yet?    Well,  the State of the Union speech hasn’t been given. That’s for tomorrow.   But these students must have heard it.

Here are some of their comments:

It was white racist at the very least.
Couldn’t bring myself to watch it because it was racist
His immigration stance,  very hateful, very offensive
“What did you think of it? (the speech)”   “It’s something  I wouldn’t have expected to happen in my lifetime!”
The speech was offensive, it was crazy,  but I wasn’t shocked by it because of what he’s done in the past.
Pretty ugly.
(Didn’t like it because of)   His rough nature, and the hate that he probably said
It’s the behavior of someone who doesn’t accept the accountability for their failures.
A leader of a country shouldn’t be acting like that no matter what party you’re in.
Hopefully everything that he outlined (in the speech) can be overturned by public opinion.
The interviewer alluded to Trump leading a  chant about building the wall, so people accused him of using the speech as a campaign event; the young man agreed, “Yeah, that’s ridiculous”
And this gem:   “He has the temperament of a three year old.”

So the college students who will some day lead our country,  make important decisions, solve the problems of their day,  and train the generation after them,   appear to be quite sure they saw the speech that will take place tomorrow, and they appear to have seen the speech through hate-colored lenses.

Indoctrinating students with Progressive bias goes on in colleges,  high schools,  and down into Middle Schools.

There’s a certain level of dishonesty in Progressive thinking.   I suppose that’s a good thing, because there is Truth too, and facts, and examples from history,  and the human intellect which can be trained to make logical analyses . . .  .

Seems like a good plan:  just hit them with the Truth.     But bias and prejudice is not found in the Intellect.   It’s in the Will.

There’s much work to be done.

From Lord Acton:  “All that’s needed for Evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”

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Here’s the URL for the short video.  Take out the spaces:

https ://youtu.be/ p0ByWdt5iF Q

 

 

ODDITIES AND INTERESTINGS

January 28, 2018

Can’t wait to write this post!   I want it here in The Spruce Tunnel so I can look at it often.

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What inspired me to post my “odd and interesting” photos is this experience at my local  health food store.  I was looking for some good meat:

O Meat is Lima Beans

I was pretty sure this was not a lima bean fail.

“Stop and smell the roses,”  hey?    “Stop and have some fun!”

I often wonder how much we miss because we can’t see down far enough into the world around us!

O Lan Looking down into Lan

I don’t fly, but I can walk around with my head in the clouds  if I’m not paying attention.

Grandson Cooper was here for Christmas.  We took out Son’s Tae Kwan Do gi, from long ago,   but the two,  uncle and nephew,  couldn’t figure out how to tie the belt properly.     Before you knew it,  seven-year-old Cooper just “googled” it on phone and computer:

O Looking up Gi 350

Within five minutes he was ready to teach  his uncle:

O Gi using YouTube

So here they are . . .  “Life Imitates Art,”   sometimes.

(I would love to see Son in a gi today;  but I won’t  tell him that.    But, maybe.  He’d look good in a gi, and Tae Kwan Do is healthy for you . . .)

How about a cute animal photo –  can you count the lions in the tree?

SANTA PAWS: PRIDE OF LIONS SCALE TINY ‘CHRISTMAS’ TREE IN TANZANIAN RESERVE. There are YouTube videos of this.   Worth looking up.     Some tourists in a nearby jeep noticed a lion jumping up into the tree to sun himself.  Soon after,   another one joined him.  And another,     And another . . .     I think there were eight,  maybe more,  in the end, all getting a little closer to the sun for their sunbath.    Interesting watching them try to balance on those small branches.

Speaking of “sun” – When is the sun not a sun?

O NOT the sun

When an Optical Illusion a couple minutes before sunrise makes it appear as though the sun has already risen.  (That’s not the sun.)

Or  —   When is the sun not a sun?    — When it’s disguising itself as a giant eyeball!

O not when close to a sun dog

These are sun dogs in Antarctica, somewhere around high noon.

Sundogs are made of hexagonal ice crystals,  some laying flat to the observer, some perpendicular.

And speaking of ice –  I thought this was an interesting Ice Challenge for Louisiana during their recent ice storm:

IO Ice storm I - 12 Louisiana

Here’s a challenge for all of us.  How much will we be missed when we die?   How much will we be loved and respected?  How many will come to our funeral?

Maybe it will take us 104  years  —  as it did for this man:

O 104 yrds old funeral

Jerusalem, a couple months ago.   Beloved rabbi.     104 years old.  More than 500,000 people attending.

Tomorrow will be my turn at religious expression.    I will go into a church to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass —   age-old,  two-millenia-old,  and unchanging.

But a large segment, large, large, large, is trying to change things:
O Dancers These are liturgical dancers at a Catholic”  liturgy —  the newly-written one.   One that is fifty or so years old,  not two millenia old.  I put this photo among the Oddities.

This  and so many “oddities” that have intruded into the Church are stretching the fabric of the Church so much that after all the immodesties,  after all the blasphemies, after all the “modernities”  and accommodations to current cultural “necessities”  —  that fabric itself is being destroyed for the majority of Catholics.

In another century, this photo would have been an oddity:  A church being destroyed to make room for the construction of a new mosque.

O Destroyng church to build a mosque

But it has become  commonplace.

Of course the actual Church will not be altogether destroyed,  “gates of Hell,” and all that.

But the time is fast approaching when a Catholic who holds to the original teachings of Jesus that came down to us through both written and oral tradition  will become a real Oddity.

 

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.*    II Thessalonians 2:15 –  Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.

That is, oral tradition,  taught by word of mouth, from generation to generation;  as well as what was written down in the letters and Gospels of the disciples and apostles.  The traditions of the Church and the words of the Bible correspond to each other, in harmony.

Who dares change the teaching?!

 

 

GREATEST MOVIE!

January 9, 2018

Just want to alert you all to a really great movie that I saw today.  I don’t see many,  but I sure am glad I saw this one.

wc

It is Darkest Hour,  a study of Winston Churchill in 1940 as he and the British government (and people)  came to terms with the very real threat presented by Hitler – who up to that time was seen by intellectuals  as an aid against Bolshevism.  At times it seemed that Winston Churchill was the only one who saw the threat clearly and knew that Britain had to fight – and was the last nation standing against Hitler which could do so.

But how to convince others of that?

Churchill himself had a long and not entirely successful public career.    He was known for his big failures and bad judgment.   On the other hand,  he showed exceptional courage and determination in many circumstances.   His speaking manner was brash, blunt, to the point,  painfully honest and uncompromising.   But he was right about Hitler and his qualities were very much needed at the time.

He also had a sense of humor,  the kind that takes you unawares and will knock the legs out from under you, metaphorically speaking.   I found that I agreed with his take on many things and his humorous, hyperbolic way of saying it.

wc apple

I agree,   for instance,  wholeheartedly with this statement of his.

I don’t know if your parents or grandparents or great-grandparents lived during these times and participated in  WWII and passed on any knowledge to you,    but I do know that we need to know about that generation and how they obtained the moral fortitude to recognize and defeat the enemy.

We, alive today,  need to know them and understand them!    This movie can contribute greatly to our knowledge of what it takes to live in this world.    We may need to have this knowledge to use as our guide and our model  when our times become undeniably dangerous.

bombs

God grant we never have to face such a serious threat –  but then again God doesn’t help a a nation that has deliberately turned away from Him.      A society made of a few good souls and a lot of bad souls will lose in the end,  but maybe a movie like this can teach us a thing or two — because the bombs fall on the good and bad alike.

On the way home from the movie I stopped by my little library and found this book:

wc book

 

It’s turning out to be a very good one, a very valuable one.   Yes, the character and personality and persistence of Winston Churchill really was a deciding factor leading his nation into the painful and costly pathway to victory.

The book itself explains the situation in more depth and fills out the characters that were seen in the movie.   Very satisfying to know these times more deeply.

So,  highly recommended:  Darkest Hour

Highly recommended;   The Churchill Factor

Highly recommended:    To look at reality,  to learn the truth,  to act according to the Truth.

Anything less is a Neville Chamberlain type of postponement of  inevitable disaster.   The world doesn’t fix itself by compromising .

SOUNDS OF COLD

January 5, 2018

Frosty windows today!

5 windows

I’ve  just emailed some of my Friday morning class,   reminding them we don’t have class today.    I ended by bidding them to enjoy the Cold Blast with cozy soft  clothes,  good books,   hot soups and tea and cocoa.

5 soup

But I noticed –  not only do these cups of hot liquids feel good to our hands,  but their sounds  are an anticipation of inner warmth — —   stirring the soup with a  hard metal spoon, scraping the bottom of the pan;

—  the light crinkle of paper surrounding the tea ,   5 tea bag 60

—  the opening of the  container of cocoa,  the swish and light clatter of a spoon around and around the cup   (I have a quiet house).

5 st cocoa str 50

Prolong those sounds and the enjoyment increases.

 

5 ha ha colors 70  Other sounds too:   All those expected,  overused words we use to express our astonishment that it could actually get this cold!   All those jokes:   “It’s so cold that . . . ”     Here’s a political joke:   “It’s so cold that Elizabeth Warren is now calling herself an Eskimo!”   

Okay,  maybe only 58% of our country would find that funny;  the other ‘half’  don’t seem to have a sense of humor about themselves.

5 birds

The peeps and chirps of the wild birds are sharper and shriller as they remind you to throw out more bird seed.

Then there’s the nail-popping sound when the air gets so cold that the roof contracts and pops those nails right out of the shingles.

5 nails 85

You’re laying there in bed all night hearing a Snap!   Pop!  and Roll!   as the nail is freed and rolls all the way down the roof.    Kind of fun.    (“It’s so cold that I’m losing the nails in my roof. ”  hmmmm)

And then there’s the sound we can all make, if we’re lucky enough to have snow:    You have to walk out to the mailbox and you’re all bundled up like in a cocoon and all you can hear is the Squeak!  Squeak!  Squeak!  of your boots making footprints in the super-frozen dry snow.

Tip:   For added fun,  take your walk to the mailbox when it’s dark.  Preferably by moonlight.

5 moonlight

(Just remember, you can’t breathe that super-cold air  into  your lungs or you’ll come up coughing and sputtering!)

 

5 cocoa 110 j

 

KEEP WARM!

 

 

FOOD, FOOD, AND NOT-FOOD

November 28, 2017

Well, “from the sublime to the ridiculous,”  as the saying goes . . . .

This is a PROTEST POST!

I hope you all have had a very nice Thanksgiving Day.   This is about the time when leftovers are finally gone in this house.    The dinner turned out very nicely;  everything tasted so good,  the leftovers were good . . .  all these days . . .  the leftovers were enough!  Enough, already!

Maybe part of the reason the traditional food tasted so good is that I used nearly all organic meat and vegetables.   Real food.  Real taste.  I resent the fact that I have to spend so much more to get that real food,  but in the end, it’s worth it.   I no longer dare to feed my body with the chemical concoctions that are called “food”  today.

But.

shrimp

But I wanted a little change from the taste of turkey and turkey-related leftovers,  so I bought a little package of shrimp.   I know they’re bottom feeders,  garbage eaters, and they pick up all the chemical wash that slides down into the ocean bottom –  But, anyway.

I didn’t even buy shrimp that I had to clean and trim and cook;  I bought kind of ready-made shrimp,   chemical breading and all.

But.   Another but.  I didn’t really get shrimp.

Food mush

I got  Mush.  Shrimp mush, I guess.   I re-read the package, and it said “Shrimp” – not “shrimp pieces” or “minced shrimp.”    It said Shrimp.    I like to pick off the breading, but when I did this it seemed to be all white mush inside.    Didn’t taste much like shrimp either.

I re-re-read the package, and I looked harder at the stuff:

Food Worm

See those two white parallel lines?

Have you ever gone hunting for night crawlers, walking around on your lawn at night with a flashlight, and then you see the big worm and snatch it up and put it in your pail so someone can go fishing?

Well, those two parallel lines are about the size and thickness of a night crawler.  As near as I can tell,  those are the shrimp.   Except tasteless.

I went hungry tonight, a little bit.  At least I didn’t have my “treat.”

Where’s George Soros when you need him?   Where’s his Antifa?     I really think we ought to be out protesting this kind of stuff on our grocery shelves!

Should I show you the package so you know what to avoid?

Okay,  but so I don’t insult any Big Food Corp.,  I’ll blur out the label:

Food Pkg

Hah!

CAVEAT EMPTOR !!!!

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FALL FOLLIES

November 17, 2017

Follies –    foiled.      That’s me.

I thought it was pretty smart to keep the  sliding glass doors  locked so no one sneaks into the house through the back deck.

I thought it was pretty smart to lock the front door when I’m doing yard work.   It prevents the suburban burglars from making a quick stop, an entry, and a grab, while the homeowner is out working on her lawn.

leaves

 

I thought I was pretty smart   to close down the garage door so the leaves wouldn’t blow into the garage as I raked and dragged the leaves down the 150-foot pathway that crosses the garage opening, in the  wind.

Traped
And then I had to go into the house . . . use the facilities, you  know;  and all I had was a rake and a radio and a small pair of gloves.

All those smart moves had led up to the dumbest thing a homeowner can do:  lock herself out of her own house.

After a few – quite a few – panicked minutes, wondering which window I should break,  I tried a door that we rarely ever use,  the sliding glass doors leading into the basement, two stories below.     (An unlocked basement door – burglars love it!)

Unlocked!!! 

I unlock every door now before I pick up my rake these days.

burglar in door

Prime target for a burglary.

.

Pretty smart, huh?

HALLOWEEN “INSTRUCTIONS”

October 31, 2017

I tramped around a pumpkin patch last month for two hours with my family (Son, Daughter, and Cooper) just  to get the right pumpkin.   It had to be the perfect one!

Then look what son did to it!!!

Their pumpkin cr

Son and his lady friend worked on this.  I suspect she did the cleaning,  he did the knife work.

I came home  late one night and decided to take a short walk to stretch my legs.   My  neighbor’s eerie handiwork turned me home again with shivers:

Neighbor dec 370

 

Cooper’s cookies:

Cookies 350

Nice  job!

I usually don’t take too much notice of Halloween,  but it’s a fun holiday;  a time for creativity to shine!    whether building a maze , decorating your home, making a costume,  or carving a pumpkin!

Halloween. Just have fun!  A  little or a lot.

Tomorrow is the serious, religious day,  and Christendom celebrates all the great saints!

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(Are not all believers in Christ called saints?  called to be saints?   Yes!  Of course!   that’s what November 2nd if for!  All Souls’ Day follows All Saints’ Day which followed the Hallowed Eve!)

 

 

 

WEEKEND HUMOR

October 27, 2017

Thought I’d take a little break from Hoax Week postings. and try a little Weekend Humor.

Well,  it’s more like “bathroom humor.”

bathroom sign

That’s the . . .  you know,  the toilet tank in the restroom of the building where I have my Friday morning class.   Not sure why the photo came out so yellow,  but I always wanted to share this picture.

A little “intimidating”  to have a sign like that on your toilet tank –

bathroom sign focused

 

I’m sure we’ll all try.

 

(Humor is where you find it.)

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ZOO TIPS

August 28, 2017

Going to a zoo sometime during this trip west was something I looked forward to.

Z Zoo Sign

I found a couple:   the Kansas City Zoo in the city;  and this one,  way out in the country through narrow two-lane roads.     Surprisingly worth it.

Of course I’ve been to lots of zoos before, and in one way they’re all “alike”  —  all the familiar animals arranged in simulations of their native continents;   but each zoo is a bit different too,  and it’s those differences plus the animals that make it worth “going to the zoo again.”

Z Rhino

So,  you’ve seen lions and tigers in person;  you’ve seen a rhino;  exotic birds; you’ve been up close to elephants;  maybe you’ve even fed the giraffes with their long black muscular tongues!     (He just stuck his tongue back in when I snapped the picture.)

Z Giraffe 270

Some zoo tips:

First:   you are never too old to go to a zoo.    No matter how old you get, no matter how many zoos you’ve seen,  even if you have to go alone, your zoo trips are not behind you;   you’re never too old!

Second:      In the summer?   On a hot sunny day?    Hat, sunglasses, plenty of water and sunscreen with you?    But don’t forget that the animals are hot too and this is the time of day when the most interesting animals   go    to   sleep!

Sleeping furry tail 300

Cute little guys –  but they’re not going to be moving anytime soon.

Sleeping Flamingos 320

Pretty flamingos.   Pretty sleepy flamingos.

You won’t see much action from even the big guys:
SleepingTigers 370

And I think the bright noon sun bleaches out the colors in the photos.

Third:      Ride!      Ride the trams . . .

Zoo Tram 400

. . .  the trains . . .

Z Train 400

. . .  and the sky rides.  . . .

SkyRide 400

 

You’ll see the zoo in comfort and in shade, with a cool breeze blowing past you;  and it’s surprising how long you can last the day without feeling a bit tired.

Riding,  rolling  gliding your way through the zoo is a great way to see where all the exhibits are and plan which ones you’d like to actually walk to.   And there are always frequent stops,  so just get off near exhibits that you want to see, and then get back on    when you’re done there.

Fourth:   Don’t forget to see the humor – and take some funny shots!

Funny shots 400

Like a headless polar bear

Fifth:   Enjoy the signs –  but remember to be safe or you’ll get some surprises.       This sign was easy enough to understand:

Kangaroo sign and spiders 400

What it meant was that the kangaroos run freely, no cages,  and there are no barriers between you and them.

Kangaroo Spider surprise 400

This made one young man – one foolish, boastful young man –   tell his girlfriend (or wife)  that he was going to run right at those kangaroos and scare them!   His young girlfriend (or wife)  told him  “No!   They’re wild animals!    They could hurt you!”

But the young man ran off our pathway,  through the opening in the bushes,  and promptly began to yell:   “Aaaaaargh!!”       He had run right into some wild . .  .   spider webs!   He came out spitting and sputtering and rubbing his face.      “I’m not going back there,”  he said.   I guess he’d found his wild things.

Sixth:    Look all around and enjoy the whole wild, strange, exotic world that you are just a tiny part of:

Z Blue 400

There was a group of maybe 40 of them, all dressed alike in the same colors:  moms, dads,  children,  babies . . .  speaking “Pennsylvania Dutch,”   which since “Dutch”  means “Deutsch”  I could understand about a third of what they were saying.   How I wondered and speculated what their world is like!

Seventh:   Take Google with you:

Snake google 400

This is a giant python.  An ordinary python with a genetic defect  causing amelonism because of  a double heterozygous gene which produced a condition called … “leuco-”  something.   Another lady and I were trying to figure out what all this meant, what made the python such a pretty yellow color.   Finally we looked each other in the eye,  smiled, and whipped out our cell phones,  consulting Google for the full explanation –  which was rather satisfying.

And that wasn’t the last time Google answered our questions –  questions which could make sense only while we were there,  but answers which will stick with us for a while.

Eighth:       Leave your POLITICS  at home!!!

Not you –  the young millennial zoo people who insisted on writing, for every animal exhibit,   that HUMANS  have destroyed this animal’s habitat and that they are now becoming extinct, or in danger of becoming extinct, or one day will think they might become extinct.       Because  “humans did it.”      Humans are horrible!    Humans make it no fun to be an animal.

And soon there will be no more zoos.

Let me add a little animal sound to that:   “grrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

 

(Next post:  I’ll show them an extinct thing or two!)